Diary of a Fangirl: Twilight

So, I watched "Twilight" for the first time Friday night.

I didn't hate it as much as I thought I would, but I still didn't enjoy it.  I watched it critically, and I [think] I deciphered what makes it so popular, and what makes it so bothersome.

Let's start with the bothersome.

I dig vampires and vampire lore.  Edward straddles the line of good and evil, raised with a vampire family who are self proclaimed vegetarians, and attempt to fit in with the cattle.  Except they all do a pretty crappy job.  They stick together, and weird out all the other kids in school (and no idea why they would choose to go to high school.  At least college for crying out loud if they want to blend in).  I point this out to say that the entire Cullen family is awkward as fuck, and it's no surprise that Edward has little to no social skills.  So, he meets a girl who drives him crazy (i.e. thirst for blood), and he becomes obsessive over her.  He wants to drain her, and also protect her at the same time.  Yes, folks, I've heard this story before (Buffy and Angel anyone? And in certain respects, Spike), but I'll give the vampire who sparkles a pass.  What he needs is a human to integrate him into the human world, and sadly for him that human is Bella.


I grew up in the era where kickass women started to take root--Michelle Pfeiffer's Catwoman, Buffy Summers (who I do have some major issues with), Sydney Bristow, Charly Baltimore and Jackie Brown.  Beatrix Kiddo.  Bella Swan is like, the anti-thesis of those characters.

Total perfume ad.  Eau de Sparkle.

I get having a gorgeous, mysterious love interests who saves you, wants to keep you safe, is misunderstood and looks to you to show him what's right.  The bad boy who now wants to do, um...do-goodery, but continuously struggles.  A dichotomy in character; a tame Jekyll and Hyde.  It's quite popular in romance novels.  And that's why "Twilight" has made so much money.  It plays on that desire in women.  And then, this film (or book) gets to have its cake and still eat it too, simply because the guy is a vampire.  Forever young, but still older and more worldly than his paramour without being old/creepy/gross.  [That being said, I do get the appeal of a damn fine F.I.L.F.  Just saying.  But if one is to appeal to the tweens, teens and beyond, Filf's are no good.]

Anyway, back to Bella...and frankly, Kristen Stewart's acting (and the abundance of "stare into each other's eyes" scenes and her inability to close her mouth ever or pour ketchup), is what dulls the film for me personally.  I read on imdb.com that Michelle Trachtenberg auditioned for the role.  How much better the film would have been had it been her.  She would have given expression and better delivery of the lines.  In my humble opinion, of course.

Anyway, off to see the next one...